I have nine hours--a little less by the time this is posted--until I move into college. Yay?

Honestly, I don't know how to feel. For the past two days I've been going out with my parents--the boys started school on Thursday--and I've been having a lot of fun. Albeit, I did want to throttlle my mom when she made me clean my room as I was doing last minute packing; I'm still not entirely sure that it mattered. Like, at all. It was kind of weird because I felt like an only child, something that I have no experienced since I was six. (I kind of felt like Namna because they were letting me do whatever I wanted and buying me all sorts of crap.)

So there I was, with Edward leaving. It was a hard pill to swallow, but once I accepted the inevitability of it, I had an interesting question on my hands. (And writers live for interesting questions.)

WHAT IF... What if true love left you? Not some ordinary high school romance, not some random jock boyfriend, not anyone at all replaceable. True love. The real deal. Your other half, your true soul's match. What happens if he leaves?

The answer is different for everyone. Juliet had her version, Marianne Dashwood had hers, Isolde and Catherine Earnshaw and Scarlett O'Hara and Anne Shirley all had their ways of coping.

I had to answer the question for Bella. What does Bella Swan do when true love leaves her? Not just true love, but Edward Cullen! None of those other heroines lost an Edward (Romeo was a hothead, Willoughby was a scoundrel, Tristan had loyalty issues, Heathcliff was pure evil, Rhett had a mean streak and cheated with hookers, and sweet Gilbert was much more of a Jacob than an Edward). So what happens when True Love in the form of Edward Cullen leaves Bella?

ARE YOU F*UCKING SERIOUS?! Did you just compare your pathetic Mary-Sue romance to some of the greatest classics that literature has ever given us? Did you really just place Edward Cullen--who only has one redeeming quality, and that is that he's "sexy" and "perfect"--on a pedastal? What exactly makes her think that Edward Cullen is suddenly the set standard for true love, because I don't think this woman gets it. AT. ALL.

First of all, Romeo and Juliet was an example of young love and passion, the impulsive decisions that people make when they first fall in love. It is a story about a person's first love. Is it a little overdramatic? Oh, of course, but remember, it's a play folks. Plays were made to be dramatic. And while some of it makes us roll our eyes--I'll admit that I've complained about some parts of the story, like how they've only known one another for what, three days or so?--there is a certain truth that we can't deny. Youthful passion. Juliet would rather die than live a life without Romeo, live a life that her father chooses for her. We all complain about how our parents think they have control over us, and when a questionable boyfriend/girlfriend is introduced we often say "Screw you, Mom and Dad" and see them anyway. But would we die for them? I don't think most teenagers would, despite all of our emo-angst-ridden rants. With Romeo, Juliet has found freedom because we've seen how her parents treat her--like crap--and for the first time she's found someone who loves her, and not just for her status. And Romeo? I have no doubts about his devotion to her. There is a definite shift in his character once he meets Juliet. He's no longer mopey, and there is life brought back into him.  And maybe that's because I'm looking through all of his lines through rose-tinted glasses, but there's a reason that this play has been around for as long as it has.

Now on to Willoughby and Marianne. If SM honestly belives that Willoughby is Marianne's true love, than she's an even bigger idiot than I thought. Marianne's true love is Colonel Brandon, who has loved her from the start. Willoughby may be her first love, but he is by no means her true love. Did he love her? Perhaps, but true love doesn't run off and marry another woman of higher standing simply because he needs he money. If Willoughby was her true love, then it wouldn't have mattered it he'd been disinherited. He would have married her anyway. But he didn't because he loved money more. Colonel Brandon on the other hand has always been there, always supported her, and when he thought that she had a shot with Willoughby, he backed off because he wanted her to be happy. And when she was sick--and almost dying!--he went and rode all night to bring her mother to her, and then was there when she was recovering. And Marianne saw that, in the end she saw what sort of man he was, saw that he had always loved her, and suddenly she realized that there was more to trule love than dashing good looks and charm. She'd become infatuated with a pretty face, she fell in love with a man who had a heart of gold. And if SM didn't see that, then she needs to read the book again. (Or watch the movie. Alan Rickman = WIN)

The last couple I'm going to do is Catherine Earnshaw and Heathcliff. Heathcliff is a dark, broody bastard. But he's not entirely evil. There's enough human in him to love Catherine Earnshaw. And he does love her. Albeit, it's a rather destructive love, but he does love her. And what the hell is up with SM thinking that Catherine Earnshaw is innocent? Um, hello, she's not. She's manipulative and bitchy, and I honestly don't understand why Heathcliff and Edgar love her. Neither one of them are good people, and they hurt one another so much that you think it would be better if they never saw one another again, but they do love one another. Fiercely, passionately. Their love is a more flawed love, but I don't think there are any doubts about their love. Did SM not get that? Did she not see that the whole point of the story was their destructive love? Not all love stories and candy-canes and lollipops. Wuthering Heights is a testimony to that.

HOW DARE SHE IMPLY THAT HER "STORY"--WHEN ALL IT'S REALLY JUST A LITTLE FANTASY WORLD SHE HAS CREATED TO PLAY OUT HER LITTLE FANTASIES--CAN SHOW WHAT LOVE IS REALLY LIKE BETTER THAN THESE CLASSICS?! Each one of these stories shows depth and different sides of love, which Twilight never does. Twilight is the product of one woman's dream about being young again and having some gorgeous guy fall in love with her. There is nothing more to it, which is why every single character is flat. (Does Edward do anything but sparkle? Does Bella doe anything but whine?)

...sorry. That comment just really set me off. Big time. This woman pretends to be humble--"Oh, I didn't start out writing for anyone but me. I'm just so thrilled that I'm published"--but she's not. A humble author would not compare her romantic hero to classic romantic heroes and decide that hers trumps them all.

I was annoyed by her before simply for ruining the Vampyric myth--and giving birth to hundreds upon thousands of crappy YA Vampire romance novels--but now I can't stand her. Honestly, I don't believe this woman has ever really read a book in her entire life. Because she just doesn't get it. At all.

Just...just...AAHHH!

 

So I lost again today.

You'd think that after--oh, what is it now, four years?--I would get over it. After all, I'm the one who ended it. And you know, for a while, I thought that I was actually over it, over him.

And then he broke up with Sarah, and for a while, I thought that I might have a chance. Well, not really, because we don't really talk anymore. It's not like we don't like one another, because we do, it's just, he's in college now and I never see him. When we do see one another, we hug and get all excited and we talk, but I don't think anything will ever happen again. We're not the same people that we used to be, you know?

I thought that I was fine with that--and I suppose, really I am, because I'm not sobbing all over this keyboard or even tearing up at all--but when I found out that he was dating again, it was just this moment of "oh." On the one hand, I'm happy for him because I've always been happy for him regardless. On the other hand, I can't help but envy the girl because I know what a wonderful guy he is.

...yeah, he really is a great guy.

*le sigh* I think I just need to go out and meet people. I think that's my problem because I never go anywhere, and I always worry about meeting new people because I make terrible first impressions. I think that as part of my summer make-over--it started with the make-up tips from Gus, then the sex hair, soon maybe some weight loss--is to work on being myself more. And to stop making such awkward first impressions. Yeah, that'd be nice.

Also, I think "Gunslinger" died. I like the characters, but I don't think there's enough meat for what I want. So, I think I'm going to scrap it. I have another idea rolling around in my head that I'm going to try to nurture into something beautiful and meaningful. *snorts* So, for those of you who read the crap that churn out--Rose, Gussie-cakes--I'll keep you posted.


Oh! I think Bollywood Day started!



 

The exciting conclusion--yeah right--to the drama of Mae and James. Do they solve their problems? Does James really love her? Will Mae ever get the marriage that she's always dreamed of? What happened to Erik's nose? Why does she keep typing questions like she's writing the script for a 1940's radio program? Find out in part four!

edit: new ending! (Okay, not really, but I think it ties things up better...)